The loving kindness exercise was interesting. I found myself thinking of all of my loved
ones, even some who have passed on.
Between thinking of them I kept thinking of all those who died in
Connecticut and those who it directly affected.
Different people kept popping into my head, even some whom I
despise. I can see how this repetition
could help to open one’s heart.
The assessment process is hard because you have to be honest
with yourself. There were a few things
that came to me which are rather personal.
I have chosen to work on my psychospiritual health because I realize
that many times I don’t think I am deserving of good things. I believe my therapist related that this is a
result of having an alcoholic parent. It
is just amazing that after 43 years I don’t completely have a handle on
that. I need to keep practicing the
loving-kindness exercise toward others and myself. In my life I have generally always put others
first. Because of my studies with
Kaplan I have learned that sometimes people do this out of dependency
issues. This means if I am always doing
things for others they will always need me and I will be validated. It is important to serve others, with the
right underlying motivations. I want to
work on being my authentic self. In
order to do that I will also do the subtle mind practice to quiet my mind down
observe my thoughts and then incorporate positive ones where I need to.